5 years ago when I met Charles I knew then just as much as I know today that I love him.
I know that it takes two to make a marriage wonderful and happy when you are both on the same path. After a long road and many struggles, my husband is currently living with his mom and step dad. He is making the choice to end our marriage. I am not sure of all his reasons, nor to I believe that it is the best thing for us at this time. It is really confusing when he still tells me how much he loves me but wants to live away from me.
Over the last year we have lived in Northern Idaho and I have had the chance to get to know his family. It has been a great experience to feel the love of a large family. I grew up with a small one- just my parents and my sister along with extened family around until I turned 15. So being so close to his family was really nice. We still struggled with many things- such as finding good employment or even going to school. It is hard to imagine that we have come so far, only to have it thrown away by a series of choices.
We all have the ability to choose what to do in our lives and how to be happy. Let alone- the choice to be happy no matter what is going on in life. Even through the hardest times when tension seemed the highest I still tried to find joy in it. The journey of marriage was never intended to be easy, but it was intended to be worth it as we cling to each other and live the Way God intened a married couple to live. It reminds me of a song that I never knew until I met Charles- "Perfect" it talks about the fact that life doesn't have to be perfect and if one day I feel like doing something but the next I don't just to remember that it was not intended to be perfect.
Looking back over the last 5 years I have learned so much from my husband about enjoying life. I have also learned to love him no matter what is going on. I have come to a decision that it was worth it to marry him and if he still wanted to be with me and work through issues I would love to continue. The pains of divorce is a horrible thing to even fathom. It takes your life and turns it upside down. It makes you have all kinds of feelings that you never really want to have.
The biggest thing I have learned is that you start your marriage on the same path and you are happy moving in the same direction. Should one begin to choose other things, the path divides and it is harder to move together as one being equals. It takes 2 to make a marriage glorious and beautiful. It takes 3 to make the marriage be what God intends it to be-- it takes the husband, the wife, and God to become the man and wife he wants you to be.
God is there and he leads us. He loves each of us enough to allow us to make our own choices even when it hurts another one of His children. He has been lifitng me up through this whole time and allowing me to have people surround me to keep me from falling down.
Whatever the choice is of my husband I will always love him. I will always have the desire to make our marriage better and to be faithful to my covenants with him.
