Diagnosed with Cancer

So many of my friends and family have been told about my newly found disease. Most however do not know the miracle of finding it, and now you will know. In early March after living with Chronic daily tension headaches for 12 and 1/2 years, the pain increased and my right arm started to hurt. Not just an ache that I could ignore as it was affecting my job-which is a pharmacy technician and I use both arms to do it. I could tell that something was funny when my hand would shake by itself and my arm would just hurt. Finally I went in to the doctor on Mar 11 and he tested my strength in my arms to see if there was any weakness. To my amazement my right arm and wrist would just fall a little while my left would stay strong. It was frustrating but he said I should have an MRI to check what was going on in my neck. At this point I did not know that anything else would be found. I figured that it would be a normal test like the other 20 or so that I have had in the last 12 years. On Wednesday the 16th I had the MRI and then tried to be patient as I waited for the results. The waiting is always the hardest. lol :) On that Friday I was told that he wanted to talk with me so I went in and he said that I have Degenerative Disc Disease in my neck. At first I thought.....my entire neck and what the heck is it? It is only affecting my disc between the 6th and 7th cervical vertebrae and is proably hitting a nerve which is causing the pain in my arm. To help I was told I needed to get a Cervical Epidural steroid injection in my neck. Of course I was willing to try anything at that point because of the pain. Also on the MRI it showed that I had a mass that was as big as the tip of his pinky on my thyroid. But of course an MRI doesn't tell what it is. So another test was ordered- An Ultrasound. When I had the ultrasound, I really didn't think much about it other than I wanted to know if it was a cyst (fluid filled) or a solid. The ultrasound tech showed me that it was a solid. Crazy, right?? The next step was to get a biopsy. That was the one test that really scared me the most. For 3 days after I was told I would be having a biopsy I really freaked out. I had a priesthood blessing and was told that I would be blessed with doctors and nurses who would be able to help me. Also that i would have some major decisions coming up in my life. I felt comfort and peace knowing that the Lord was with me. I had the biopsy on Tuesday of this week and pretty much expected that I would not hear anything until today-Friday April 1st. I am thankful to have hear yesterday, for today I don't think I would have believed him since it is April Fools' day. When my doctor told me I was in shock and awe. It was one word that I never thought I would hear, let alone ever have to go through. Cancer....that one 6 letter word creates so much pain for so many people. Then the other word I was hoping to avoid was said...surgery. Another 6 letter word that I wanted to avoid at all costs. But as soon as the treatment was described to me I knew it was the best option for me. I then proceeded to call my parents to tell them the news. I didn't cry much because I felt such a comfort that all will be well. I told my co-workers next as I was on my lunch break at work when I learned this. I recieved hugs from 2 of my friends which was all I really needed. But those hugs had special power....care, comfort and concern from them but more importantly power from Heaven. My Heavenly Father knew exactly what I neeeded and He provided the way for me to get it since my family lives away from me. We are all God's children and He loves us all. I have seen that so much recently. Then for the following 3 1/2 hours I worked trying to focus on what I needed to do for patients who were in need of medications. That was really hard. But I made it through with the words of a song in my mind. It is called "Inside" and these are the words that kept me going.... " Inside, I feel a voice Beckoning me, Pulling me down to my knees I pray for strength to use my faith to take my doubts and fears away" That was all I could do...pray for strength to know all would be well. Needless to say I didn't sleep so much last night. And my thoughts went to the fact that I do not blame God for this happening. It is no one's fault. It is what it is...a fact of life. Many people have had cancer and beat it. Just to name a few who's examples I hope to follow are these: President Spencer W Kimball (throat cancer and he was a prophet of the Lord), Elder Neal A Maxwell (leukemia and he was an apostle who knew the Savior because of his tuitorial in suffering), Martha Blake Willis (breast cancer and high school friend), my grandma Velma Wood (non-hodgkin's lymphoma), and I have heard of many more. Some may have been called home to God from their sufferings but they were strong and turned to the Lord. That is how they beat the cancer...they didn't allow it to stop them from being a disciple of Christ.!!! From these examples, I know that I must Trust in the Lord, never give up, and know that He loves me even when I don't understand why it happened. I do not know the meaning of all things, but I know He cares for me and everyone else too. You may ask if I am scared...honestly not so much as I thought I would be. I have been thinking a lot about the atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ during the last month. He suffered for me. He knows how I feel and even though I can not comprehend how it is possible that he felt that much pain for EVERYONE that has LIVED, is LIVING, or ever WILL LIVE on this earth. I have only felt a very small poriton of pain and suffering. There were times I felt that it was too much and I wanted to get rid of it. Then I finally came to understand that sometimes in our suffering is when we come to KNOW HIM!! Scriptures that I have come to love during the last month are worth reviewing for all of us. Isaiah 53: 2-10, Matt 26:36-46, Alma 7:11-12, Mosiah 3:5-8 His atonement is real!! He died so that we would know that there is One who knows how we feel. He died that we may be forgiven and learn to love as He loves. He Lives today so that we can know our purpose in life. I hope that I can know Him better as I go through this divine tutitorial, just as Elder Neal A Maxwell said of his luekemia. It is a tuitorial for me to know that I am not alone. In advance I want to thank everyone for your faith, prayers, and friendship. Thanks a million!!! Jesus Christ lives. His atonement is real. I know there will be a day when I will kneel at His feet and know then just as I do now that he is my Savior, Friend, Brother, and Redeemer!!! He Lives!!! He Loves!! And He Knows each of us. Cancer will not beat me!!! I will show it who is boss. :)